Prowl Is Not Alright
by T'Reilani
Summary: Someone has been messing with Prowl's database...can Riella and Ironhide stop them? Warning: crack fic.
1. Chapter 1

**This came from reading quotes from "Avatar: The Last Airbender". They were too funny not to use for a fic. Tell me what you think! **

Ratchet sighed as he settled the unconscious tactician onto a berth. "Primus, kid. If I have to pick you up after glitching one more time…" He left the threat unfinished, stalking out of the medbay muttering. "Riella's gonna have a fit when she hears about this…"

The moment the medic was gone, two heads poked around the doorframe.

"Is he gone?"

"Duh. We'd be screwed if he weren't, dumbass!"

"Who you callin' dumbass?"

"Shut up! You wanna do this or not?"

"Of course! YOU shut up!"

Two minutes and a lot of bickering later, the duo hurried out of the medbay, leaving Prowl completely unaware of the adjustments that had just been made to his database…

In the rec room, Sam and Tai were sprawled on the floor playing Fallout 2. Riella and Sideswipe were absorbed in an intense game of 3-D chess at one of the tables, and Optimus Prime and Barricade were seated on the huge couch, alternately watching the video game or the chess game.

The door slammed open abruptly. Riella looked up, expecting to see Bumblebee, Jazz, or someone similarly excitable rushing in with something to tell them. Her jaw dropped when it was the last mech she would have expected.

Prowl, her calm, collected, rational sparkmate, was standing in the door looking more panicked than Red Alert in the middle of a glitch. Before she could ask what was wrong, he pointed at Barricade's energon cube with a horrified yell.

"DON'T DRINK THAT!"

'Cade immediately spit his mouthful of energon out – unfortunately, all over Optimus. "What's wrong? Is it poisoned?"

"NO!" Prowl gestured frantically. By this point, everyone in the room was staring at him. "I had a dream we were in the middle of a Decepticon attack, and _you _had to go to the bathroom! WE ALL DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR TINY BLADDER!"

Sam didn't even notice his game character dying, Sideswipe knocked over the chess table, and Optimus stopped trying to clean the energon off his shoulder plating. Barricade blinked repeatedly. "Uhhh…."

Riella frowned. "Prowl, are you alright?"

Prowl looked frantically around the room. "NO, I AM NOT ALRIGHT! I am being hunted by people who want to reprogram my brain. I AM NOT SLAGGING ALRIGHT!" With that, he spun around and bolted out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him in shock.

Riella finally found her voice again and turned to stare at the silver mech across the table from her. "Sideswipe…"

"Don't look at me!" Sideswipe shook his head. "I had nothing to do with _that._ Besides, I've been in here with you for the last hour."

"Good point." Riella sighed and got up. "I'll see if I can catch up to him and drag him down to medbay before he freaks out Red Alert."

A startled yelp came from down the hall, and Arcee ducked into the rec room with wide optics. "What the slag is wrong with Prowl?"

Riella facepalmed. "And I'd better do it fast."

Ten minutes later, she caught up with Prowl, who was yelling at a very confused Ironhide. "THIS _IS_ MY CALM FACE!"

"Prowl…" Riella forced an all-too-cheerful smile. "Let's walk down to the medbay, okay?"

"NOOOOOO!" Prowl spun around to face her, optics ridiculously wide. "They want to reprogram my head! I'm NOT – " THUD.

Ironhide sighed. "Didn't want to knock him out, but it was the lesser of two evils."

"Thanks, 'Hide." Riella awkwardly slid one arm under her unconscious mate's shoulders, half-carrying and half-dragging him. "Mind giving me a hand getting him down to Ratchet?"

The weapons specialist picked up Prowl easily and slung him over one broad shoulder. "What's wrong with him?"

"Don't know. Hope Ratchet can figure it out."

Impressively, Ratchet managed to hear the whole story without bursting into laughter, although he did crack a smile at the comments to Barricade. "Sounds like someone's been screwing with his database again. I'll take care of it if you'll find the culprit."

Ironhide slammed one fist into the other. "Sideswipe?"

"Wasn't him." Riella shook her head. "I was with him for an hour before Prowl turned up. And before you ask, so was Tai."

"And Leo and Co. are off base…" Ironhide sighed. "That leaves Skids and Mudflap."

Ratchet looked up from his adjustments to Prowl's helmet. "I haven't seen them since this morning."

"Soooo…." Ironhide's grin was decidedly evil. "Now we find them?"

"No." Riella's smirk matched his. "Now we wait for them to find us."

**Part 2 will be posted as soon as it's typed up! Review please! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Riella's revenge! :D Review please! **

Skids tried, and failed, to stifle a loud snicker. "Didja see what we did? Prowler went _nuts_, man!"

Mudflap nodded with a huge smirk. "Best! Prank! Ever!"

"Course it was." Skids bounced a little on the berth. "Ya think Riella caught on?"

"Nah!" Mudflap gestured airily. "Prob'ly blamed it on Sides an' Sunny!"

Skids pressed playback on the monitor again. "Bet Mister Sparkly's gonna be in trouble now…"

"Unfortunately for _you…_" Both twins' heads turned at the same time to see Sunstreaker and Sideswipe standing in the door, wearing identical expressions of anger. "_Mister Sparkly _got in trouble for something you did."

Skids' face fell. "Uh-oh."

Sunstreaker took one step forward, and Mudflap yelped and bolted for the bathroom door, Skids a few steps behind him. "YAAH! Don't kill us!"

As soon as both of them were out of hearing range, Sunstreaker grinned at his brother. "So Riella's paying us how much to do this, again?"

"One trip to the hardware store with her debit card, and one prank on anyone who's not Prowl, her, or Ironhide without punishment. No guarantees about retaliation." Sideswipe smirked in the direction the younger twins had run.

Mudflap slumped against the wall of the rec room, gasping. "Ya think we lost 'em?"

"Maybe…" Skids looked around nervously.

Sideswipe poked his head in the door on the opposite side. "Get over here, you little…"

"EEP!" Both of them shot out the door.

Sunstreaker transformed at the end of the hall, drawing another squawk as the fleeing twins spun and ran back toward the medbay.

Skids looked back over his shoulder in panic. "DUDE! Into the broom closet!"

"Locked!" Mudflap yanked frantically on the handle.

Both of them looked at each other in horror as they realized the only place to run was the medbay. "Slag…"

Mudflap pushed the door open carefully and looked around. "Coast's clear."

With a sigh of relief, Skids dived in, shut the door, and ran to the far wall. "This ain't fair, bro! Makin' the medbay the only safe place? That ain't right."

"Oh, that's not what happened," a femme voice purred from behind them. "The medbay is the _least_ safe place."

Riella and Ironhide were standing on either side of the door, optics narrowed. Ironhide powered both cannons. "You punks feelin' lucky?"

**THUD.**

**THUD. **

Riella giggled at the sight of the unconscious twins. "Missionaccomplished."

"So…" Ironhide looked hopeful. "Can I stand over them with a gun and wait for them to wake up?"

"Nope." Riella smirked. "That's Ratchet's job."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stepped into the medbay. "Hey, Riella, you owe us…"

"Yeah, I do." She unsubspaced a black credit card and tossed it to Sunstreaker. "Don't max it, okay?"

"Got it." Sideswipe grinned. "Off to the hardware store!"

Riella was on monitor duty an hour later when the panicked squawk echoed through the medbay camera. She smiled. "Ahh, revenge. Best if assisted by a medic."


End file.
